Hello.
It has been a long time. Since February of 2019 in fact. I never meant to let this blog die. I never meant to neglect it for so long. I am sorry to my readers for this long delay. I know that most of you are probably never going to return, but I hope that this post may explain some things. I am back in the United States. I am no longer in Japan. I do not know when I will be going back, but I do know that I am never going to live in Japan or any other country again. That part of my life has ended. I moved back to Arizona on July 4th, 2020. I moved into my new apartment July 30th, 2020. I have returned to figure skating full-time, and I will be starting grad school come May. So, I am sure you are wondering. Why are you back? What happened in those 2 years you were gone? Are you ok? Let me just be clear. The virus had nothing to do with me returning back home to the US. In fact, it actually helped aid me in my return. I am going to be rather vague in my answers right now. Maybe, when things get a little better, I can come back and really tell you what is going on, but for now, I need some privacy. After the adoption failure in November of 2018, I suffered from depression related to complicated grief. You will notice that my last post in Feb of 2019 was on the negative side, and that is because of my depression. I found it difficult to see any light in anything, including the things I once enjoyed. Just as I was accepting the loss and moving forward, I suffered the first loss in my family. My great-grandmother passed at the ripe old age of 102. The day before my 7th wedding anniversary. A month later, I broke my foot and I had a falling out with one of my close friends. I was later diagnosed with seasonal affective disorder which meant that the winters in Japan were making my mental and physical well-being worse the longer I stayed there. I knew that winter of 2019 that once my contract ended in July 2020 I had to leave. We started preparing for the move back home that Christmas. We sent packages to family of belongings. We started looking for hotels and flight plans (at that time, we had planned to travel across Asia after the summer 2020 Olympics). The administrators at my school had changed and the new people were incredibly racist. They made derogatory remarks to me on a regular basis. One of them literally referred to me as "the decoration." They treated me poorly and yet punished me for not overworking with zero pay. (This is where I learned that the JET Program is NOT a program I recommend to ANYONE. I'll make another post when I am ready to talk about the details). As you can imagine, my mental health declined rapidly. I was unable to wake in the morning. My husband had to physically dress me most days. I needed to be on leave. (Getting on leave is another story in itself). Then, corona hit and the schools stopped requiring in-person teaching. That meant, I could stay home and get the rest and help I needed. Yes, I sought therapy, and yes, I got treatment. It didn't help. I was actually advised by my doctors that returning to my home state where the sun shines 90% of the year, where it hardly rains, where the cold is sparse, and where the atmosphere isn't humid. Yes, you heard that right, I was "prescribed" Arizona. I must say, after being back, that I got better quickly. The environment really does affect one's mood. I was at home from working for 3 months. I returned back to school around the end of May, beginning of June 2020. Once I heard that the Olympic games were canceled, I contacted the necessary people to arrange a return flight home. The virus allowed there to be an exception for JET participants to have their flight fully paid for and there was no price limit. The return flights were really sparse but we were able to get a flight booked, as well as hotels and train tickets at no cost to me. Shipping was a nightmare (more on that in another post) and so was cancelling utilities, but other than that, we were able to stay in Tokyo for a couple of days to relax and just enjoy Japan one last time before leaving. I had a great final 2 days. The crowds were smaller, and the trains weren't as packed, so it was easier to enjoy the city. The flight home was quite nice. Every other row had people, so Josh and I had the entire row to ourselves. Josh had a job lined up for when he returned and started working right away. My only job was to find us a place to live, move into said place, and get well. I might be one of the only people who can say this, but the virus helped us move home, and helped me get to a better place mentally and physically. Don't worry, I am not abandoning Japan. In fact, I am going to grad school for a teaching degree so I can teach Japanese at a local high school. Plus, I have plenty of stories from Japan to share. Thank you for reading, thank you for your patience, and I hope to write more soon.
0 Comments
|
AuthorJeny B Archives
August 2021
|